The Need to Feel Loved
CHARLOTTE MASON VOLUME 5 : Formation Of Character: CHAPTER 1, PART 9
Human beings have basic emotional needs—the need to feel loved, the need to feel safe, the need to feel belonging, and the need to feel capable. As much as we show kindness and care to our children, this doesn't mean they will feel loved without continuous affirmation and reassurance.
As children grow older, they become increasingly aware of their shortcomings and might feel undeserving of love. They might communicate their need for connection through misbehaviour. Sometimes, in our attempt to instil discipline, we inadvertently stifle our children's sense of self-worth, leaving them craving affirmation. We find ourselves in a continuous cycle of misbehaviour and correction.
We all love our children, but do they know that they are loved? Are they aware that despite their shortcomings, we cherish them for who they are and not what they do?
Yes, our days are busy and full of responsibilities, but we should actively look for tangible ways to express our love to our children. This could be one-on-one time or physical affection. Prioritise building connections instead of asserting control.
Sometimes the way our environment or routines are set up does not allow for children to meaningfully express themselves, even through their work. Again, here is where we can erroneously assume that because our children are compliant about something, they are joyful or well connected to us…and therefore visible.
Leslie Martino
If you want some simple ideas on ways to build a more meaningful connection with your kids, then join Leslie’s thirty days of connection challenge here.
Have a blessed week.
Olufunmike