Is this Socialisation?

Ourselves, Charlotte Mason Volume 4 ( Part II The House Of Mind); Chapter VIII The Lords Of The Exchequer, The Desires (Part 2.)

Almost everyone feels a deep, natural need for companionship. It doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re in or whether this community exists in real life or virtually. We crave acceptance. We want to be heard. We want the chance to speak.

Unfortunately, without preparation, which is learning about many things, all we’ll be able to talk about is the weather and the price of butter. (Have you checked the price of butter in the shops lately? It’s ridiculous.) We could stumble on experts in different fields and be ill-prepared for a proper conversation because we have chosen to live in our own paddock, excluding ourselves from the interests of the wider world.

Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to pore over pages of encyclopaedia for the rest of your days just to prepare for a meeting with Chris Hadfield, Akala, Chimamanda, Gabor Mate, or Hannah Fry. Remember, active listening learns, synthesises, and eventually brings something fresh to the conversation banquet.

Active listening lets us have deep, meaningful conversations even when there’s no intimacy. We just need people who want to share, who want to listen, and who are deliberate and intentional about the process. Sure, you could spend ages bouncing from one chat to another without the aim to learn, simply showing off your knowledge to seem better than those around you. Or, like Walter Scott, you could have one of the most memorable conversations simply by talking about leather with an expert—a subject you knew nothing about.

What harm we bring to our children when their conversations begin with ‘How are you?’ and end with ‘Hope you’re doing well at school,’ without anything real in between? What chances do they miss when they never learn to listen deeply and instead cling to the safety of their own circle?

The desire for knowledge should inspire us to dig deeper. Mere curiosity just wants to know enough to fit people into the cute little boxes we’ve prepared for them. As we ask questions, we should also consider whether the answers we get are helping our minds grow towards greatness or even widening our interests.

The genuine love of knowledge is at risk of being replaced by the desire to show off what we know. When someone values knowledge for its own sake, true happiness is never far away.

"They cram to pass, and not to know; they do pass; and they don't know."

-John Ruskin

Best Regards,

Olufunmike